The Chandler's Wife
(the knocks can be done on the body of your instrument
or even better, have a drummer play with you)

A man walked into the chandler's shop some candles for to buy,
He looked around the chandler's shop but no one did he spy.
So he turned upon his heels and to the door he sped,
When he heard the sound of a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK up above his head.

Well this young man was a bold young man so up the stairs he sped,
And very surprised was to find the chandler's wife in bed,
And with her was a fine young man of most incredible size,
And they were having a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK right before his eyes.

When the fun was over and done and the woman raised her head,
She was quite surprised to find him standing by the bed.
If you would keep my secret sir, if you would be so kind,
You may drop in for a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK whenever you feel inclined.

So, many a day and many a night when the chandler wasn't home,
Down to the chandler shop, for candles he would roam.
But nary a one she gave to him, but gave to him instead,
Just a little bit more of the KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK to light his way to bed.

So, all you married men take heed, whenever you go to town,
If you must leave your woman alone, be sure to tie her down.
Or, if you would be kind to her, just lay her right down on the floor,
And give her so much of that KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK she doesn't want any more.

Traditional Folksong (English, likely)

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